THIS JESUS DOESN'T WEEP

Catholic Church officials have refused to do a full investigation into a 'weeping' Jesus portrait in Texas:

A Roman Catholic bishop said a cardboard portrait of Jesus does not show enough evidence of weeping for a formal church investigation.

Bishop Edmond Carmody had asked the Rev. Gerry Sheehan to view the portrait after 34-year-old Gloria Fino said tears were coming out of the eyes in the portrait. Sheehan told him that while the cheeks were streaked, Jesus no longer appeared to be crying.

"It's a very strange phenomenon ... there were signs that something had come from the eyes and the back of the paper print was dry, but there were no tears coming down. We see no reason to move it or to investigate now because it has stopped," Carmody said in today's Corpus Christi Caller-Times.

Now, back to that shroud in Turin...